oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize