He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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