she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
