2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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