a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
