I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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