marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
