You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
