i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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