i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
