I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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