Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
