I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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