my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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