I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize