just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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