I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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