You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My penis needs a shock collar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
