Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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