Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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