remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
