why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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