Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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