Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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