whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
