Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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