When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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