Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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