you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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