Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
