If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
