Whatcha textin bout Willis?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize