She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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