you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
