found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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