That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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