if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
