You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize