listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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