is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
