Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
