What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
