...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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