I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
