yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
