ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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