That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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