Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
