Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
