So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
