i may or may not be watching the land before time
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
