We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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