You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
