hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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