..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
