Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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