Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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