After last night, I could never be a politician.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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